Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? You will want to?”

Dating for Dummies: “You don’t have gf? You will want to?”

A couple, obviously bored stiff from their minds, stare intently at their smartphones in a Seoul cafe. The talk that is small if you have any, is painful to eavesdrop on. Despite their matching clothing, ubiquitous couple rings, and obligatory selfies together, they appear to have little in typical. So just why the regularity of these embarrassing pairings in the coffee stores of Seoul?

“You don’t have a girlfriend? Why don’t you?” is most likely probably the most common concern solitary males have expected in Southern Korea. Dating is a fairly simple endeavour and there is absolutely no explanation never to take action, as my South Korean housemate constantly reminds me personally. Dating Г  la corГ©enne happens to be paid off to checking items off an inventory, adhering to a textbook of do’s and don’ts. You are given by me the lowdown:

The Introduction

The simplest way to generally meet females is through your buddy: he’ll familiarizes you with somebody he knows and set up a sogaeting — a pre-arranged date. Instead, you need to use a sogaeting application. As soon as both you and your prospective gf have actually agreed on a romantic date, make sure to dress to wow. Then visit Gangnam. Italian restaurants or VIPS will be the fare that is standard times. If you should be unsure on how to confer with your date, don’t worry and simply prepare some topics ahead of time: sites with guides and video lessons abound.

The Meetup

Whom foots the balance? Why you, needless to say. Her duties are limited by spending money on after-dinner coffee, but as long as the date goes well and also you go to Round Two. Also my gallant housemate admits to hating the obligatory dinner purchase but seems he “has no choice”. The‘after-message’ to confirm interest is vital after the date ends and you have arrived back home. See here for well-documented successful techniques. But don’t forget that timing is important and therefore the message should always be delivered within half an hour to one hour following the end of this date to make certain success that is optimal!

The Confession

Now if things are getting efficiently and also you have an interest in her, make sure to formalise the offer having a love ‘confession’. It Raya doesn’t matter how long you have got invested together, aside from everything you have inked together, things aren’t settled you are ‘official’ until you set in stone the two of. Tell her “i prefer youu bluntly” or ask, “Do you want to get constant?” If she hesitates to respond to, merely return to “The Introduction” part of the article and start around again. Until your confession of real love is accepted by some body, its permissible to see one or more girl at the same time. It really is referred to as eojang gwalli — ‘managing your seafood stock’.

But you have just entered into a relationship and it’s time to get serious if she accepts your heartfelt plea.


Success! You now have gf, a marker of or both. But this isn’t the finish. It is now time for you to purchase matching shoes, few bands, exchange hourly texts, work with a ‘selfie-stick’, head to areas, browse coffee shops, search for cafГ©s that is pet. Simply speaking, the number of choices are endless.


Needless to say, an individual will be ‘going steady’, the cinema is vital. Areas have even popped up to improve and diversify the ability, with premium couple-seats being offered. Benefit from the connection with staring blankly at a display screen for 2 hours, peppered occasionally with gruesome scenes that automatically hand-clutching that is prompt which gives her the reassurance that oppa is here now.

Wedding Wedding Anniversaries

As the days slip by, you need to commemorate your time and effort together: 1 week, 30 days, 100 times… Such milestones confirm the status that is healthy of and produce a feeling of success.

100th time current to gf. Information please

Day ^^“Please can someone advise me on what to offer my girlfriend for our 100th

We are going to reach our 100 times together in a few days, however with only some times to spare, I’m beginning to be worried about things to offer her .ㅜ.ㅡ Letters and plants will be the norm, however if there’s whatever else besides that I’d appreciate some advice. just exactly What do other guys often give on the day that is 100th?? Because of the real way, she’s 24”. Supply: Daum tip forum


Ideally earlier than later on, you shall choose to be intimate. Don’t stress though. That’s all cared for also. Love motels provide a sex that is all-inclusive, perhaps perhaps not least the welcome pack containing condoms, lube, and desensitizing cream for those who are extremely eager. Without doubt, the savvy few will know which websites and apps to utilize for discount rates.

The Fact

My housemate is appropriate. With all you need to do conveniently and simply presented for you, here really isn’t any reason never to date. (Love, but, is optional.) The pity to be branded a motaesollo — “a loner since conception” — is after all most readily useful prevented and just how more straightforward to do this than by stepping into a relationship? However in numerous instances, the things I see is a costly ritualised performance of courtship: a prescribed group of inevitable activities marching toward the goal that is ultimate wedding.

But until then, dating is anticipated if an individual really wants to avoid fees of impotence, deviance, or homosexuality. In reality, some gay South Korean friends turn to putting on a ‘couple ring’ in the office to imagine they truly are right plus in a relationship, because they should be. It really works like no bodies business, i will be told.

We often have the South Korean scene that is dating such as a Petri meal: a synthetic environment containing all of the right nutritional elements to advertise the fast cultivation of partners. Valentine’s Day, White Day, Pepero Day, the 100-day anniversary… All are grotesque reminders of exactly just just how relationship in Southern Korea happens to be commodified in accordance with some ideal of Western middle-class romance, and repackaged right into a kitschy item that is must-have.

When it comes to couple that is hopeless the cafe, they truly are both ‘in need’ of a relationship — and status and normalcy it confers. So they really date each other away from convenience, expectation, and maybe — when you look at the scenario that is best-case a way of measuring love. But irrespective, enclosed by such pressures that are extreme conform to societal ‘norms’ and perform set functions, they turn society’s desires within their desires, and so they continue steadily to concur with the consumerism of relationship.

Raphael Rashid authored this short article.

For lots more on dating culture in Southern Korea, read:

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